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Adobe & The HTC Hero; or, How To Write A Bullsh*t Press Release

With this helpful guide, you too can carefully construct a press release that will trick the tech blogging world into lying about your product so you don't have to!

well the least you can say is it must be pretty robust to pass through 4 stomachs and still show the correct time

So I got really excited today when the HTC Hero was announced, and multiple news channels were touting their groundbreaking support for Flash 10 on a mobile phone:

ZDNet's Coverage

OSNews Took The Bait Too

So Did These Guys

I honestly don't know if these are traditionally trustworthy sources of news, but the ZDNet article is the very first result for a google search for "htc hero flash 10", and google informs me there are 282 similar articles in their news category.  What could possibly have convinced these outlets that a Flash Lite mobile phone would have support for Flash 10?  The answer is slimey PR releases!

Adobe's Slimey Press Release

First up, David Wadhwani from Adobe:

“As the first Android device with Flash, the new HTC Hero represents a key milestone for Android and the Flash Platform. With close to 80 percent of all videos online delivered with Adobe Flash technology, consumers want to access rich Web content on-the-go.” said David Wadhwani, vice president and general manager, Platform Business Unit at Adobe. “The collaboration with HTC offers people a more complete Flash based Web browsing experience today and presents an important step towards full Web browsing with Flash Player 10 on mobile phones in the future.”

Note the careful use of syntax! An "important step...in the future." Surely HTC will correct this veiled implication:

“Adobe Flash is an important core technology for people interacting and experiencing the Web, it is only natural to be offering it on the new HTC Hero first,” said John Wang, chief marketing officer, HTC Corporation. “We look forward to continuing our close collaboration with Adobe and to bringing Flash Player 10 support to our phones in the future.”

Why are the two companies both talking about Flash Player 10 in a press release about a Flash Lite smartphone?

Remember, if you're making a new product that just doesn't have the features you need to actually compete, just talk about those features anyways, and everybody will claim that you have them!  You get all the hype of actually having those features without having to spend any of the money or time to actually make them!

If you like normal maps, Megan Fox, and next-gen physics, make sure to check out my iPhone game!

See what I did there?

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