What has Apple ever done for us?

Every day seems to bring a new rant against some policy or action by Apple.  Those of us who have been in the mobile game space for sometime should remember what it was like to publish apps in the days of J2ME and BREW.  You would spend $1000’s to get ‘certified’ and then “on deck” … and if your app didn’t sell from the get-go, you were gone in a matter of weeks.

Look at how the iPhone and the App Store have changed everything about mobile gaming.  And now we have Google’s Android.  Even though it isn’t as lucrative as the Apple App Store yet, competition is good.  Apple's not perfect, but let's put this into perspective.

So here's a little ditty I composed after reading another "oh, what has Apple ever done for us" post, with apologies to Monty Python's Flying Circus.

YouTube Video of the scene from the film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExWfh6sGyso

Reg:

They've bled us white, the bastards. They've taken everything we had, not just from us, from our fathers and from our fathers' fathers.

Stan:

And from our fathers' fathers' fathers.

Reg:

Yes.

Stan:

And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers.

Reg:

All right, Stan. Don't labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?

Xerxes:

The iPhone.

Reg:

Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That's true.

Masked Activist:

And the App Store!

Stan:

Oh yes... the App Store, Reg, you remember what publishing mobile apps used to be like?

Reg:

All right, I'll grant you that the iPhone and the App Store are two things that Apple has done...

Matthias:

And the iPad ...

Reg:

(sharply) Well yes obviously the iPad... the iPad goes without saying. But apart from the iPhone, the App Store and the iPad ...

Another Masked Activist:

iOS ...

Other Masked Voices:

Game Center ... In App Purchases ... iAds ...

Reg:

Yes... all right, fair enough...

Activist Near Front:

And the Multi-Touch Interface ...

Omnes:

Oh yes! True!

Francis:

Yeah. That's something we'd really miss if Apple left, Reg.

Masked Activist at Back:

Timely App Sales Payments!

Stan:

And you can make serious money on apps now.  Used to take 90 days to get paid.

Francis:

Yes, they certainly know how to build a Profitable Marketplace for our apps ...(general nodding)... let's face it, they're the only ones who could it in a economy like this.

(more general murmurs of agreement)

Reg:

All right... all right... but apart from the most advanced phone ever released and a market that didn’t require you to fork over $1000’s just to get published and the iPad which pretty much created the consumer tablet business and Game Center and In-App Purchases and iAds and Timely Payments and the Multi-Touch Interface and a Profitable Marketplace for our apps ... what has Apple ever done for us?

Xerxes:

Paid App Developers Two Billion Dollars so far!

Reg:

(very angry, he's not having a good meeting at all) What!? Oh... (scornfully) Two Billion Dollars, yes... shut up!

Schedule