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Life During Crunchtime (with apologies to the Talking Heads)

More songs about buildings and game development.

Greg Costikyan, Blogger

February 22, 2016

2 Min Read

Heard of a build that is fully smoke-tested
Benchmarked and ready to go.
Heard of some milestones, blown by the dozens
Softlaunch when nobody knows.

The sound of gunfire, Q/A is testing;
I'm getting used to it now.
Sat in a meeting, sat at a laptop.
Producer's having a cow.

This ain't no boardgame, this ain't no builder
This ain't no fooling around.
No time for testing, or code reviewing
I don't have time for that now.

Transmit the JSON to frontend client
Hope for an answer some day.
I got three reports, too many JIRAs
Don't even know if it's day.

Out in the cloud now, the server's thrashing
Nothing is ready to roll.
I work in the daytime, I work in the nighttime
I might not ever get home.

This ain't no boardgame, this ain't no builder
This ain't no fooling around.
This ain't no indie, or freebie art game
I don't got time for that now.

Heard about EA? Heard about Zynga?
Heard about Sony Online?
You ought to know not to talk to the EP
He'll give a task list or nine.

What is our core loop? What is our premise?
How does the player know why?
Write me a quest line, some user stories
And can a game make you cry?

The milestone tunnel is never ending
This is a job for the tough
Q/A reports bugs faster than ever.
Can't knock 'em down fast enough.

We dress like students, we dress like workers
But never suit and a tie.
I've changed my FTUE so many times now.
I don't know what my game is like.

All over the office people are wilting
Head on their keyboards, asnore
This grind goes onward, it's neverending
I can't wait to hit the door.

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