The right amount of craziness

Some time ago I started dreaming about working on the Zink development. This is fairly common on people doing the same thing for a long time at some intensity. However, some thin line was crossed when I started to dream COHERENTLY about work. I mean, like coherently boring! Like: "What about changing the order of the buttons of the settings menu" or "we should add more levels to the story mode".

This phenomenon have been happening sporadically, but I kind of started to worry. That made me step aside for a moment and take a picture of my current professional life.

I really enjoy doing what I do. Even though I have to live with the Damocles sword of the lack of resources hanging over my head, the timelines and the number of working hours, I found out that I don't need vacation anymore. Don't misunderstand me, I mean that I don't need, not that I don't have or enjoy them. That never happened to me before, all my past jobs eventually drained my energy tank.

Some will say that I don't really have a job since I can't live out of making games at the time. Maybe they are right and all this nothing but another kind of dream. Some will say workaholic... I'd like to think that this is more about creation than about ambition.

Anyway, I like to think that some level of obsession in what you do can be like drugs: used wisely, drugs can expand your being and act as creativity triggers but crossing the line will take your life away. This is the line I am considering when I find myself dreaming coherently...

Obviously this is ultimately a subjective experience and may not be lived the same way by other developers or stuff creators. However, I can say that I'm living the greatest professional adventure in my lifetime. A (sabbatical?) time during which I am learning a lot. No only about technology but also about myself and my capabilities. That may be what I strangely enjoy the most: being able to commit mistakes and realizing after the downer that I gave all I had and something more has to be done. Is kind of peaceful, having no one to blame to.

However, as a friend told me, by dreaming small, at least I can accomplish my dreams several times a week!