informa
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Humor: When your game's launch isn't as smooth as you'd like

In this reprint from the May 2013 issue of Game Developer magazine, developers release a new online game into the wild -- and descend into revision note hell.
In this reprint from the May 2013 issue of Game Developer magazine, developers release a new online game into the wild -- and descend into revision note hell.

07-16 20:09:20 Revision: 12412

  • fixed localization text-wrap bug (nice try, Jeff)
  • locking repo for final launch deploy!!!

07-16 22:01:01 Revision: 12413

  • fixed polling ping-time bug in matching players across regions that might have caused small delays before game launches. There might have been a hiccup on launch day if we hadn't caught that… good job, QA
  • finally the work we've been doing for the last three years is gonna pay off!
  • relocking repo for final, final, final deploy
  • come at me, bros!!

07-17 00:17:24 Revision: 12414

  • emergency fix to address "Unable to Join" error

07-17 05:20:49 Revision: 12415

okay, this should address most of the launch volume issues that players have been experiencing:
  • more error checking added to "Region Unavailable" crashes
  • another fix for "Unable to Join" error seen by players in Pacific time zone due to a floating-point error reporting that the game doesn't actually unlock for 277 years (Jeff, I am looking at you very sternly right now)
  • dynamically switch a region's hosted server if the ping is too long
  • set available servers to the actual number of servers we have available (whoops, that's mine, haha)

07-17 07:52:41 Revision: 12416

rolling back change #2416

07-17 11:30:10 Revision: 12417

  • removed rendering of all citizens' pants to decrease server sync load

07-17 11:33:55 Revision: 12418

  • re-added pants. something about ESRB? whatever
  • removed rendering trees instead

07-17 14:11:12 Revision: 12419

  • disable high-level spells that use too many server-side particles (can't believe I just used the phrase "server-side particles"...JEFF!!!!)
  • boost power of low-level spells to take the place of the spells we just removed
  • add free spells for players so they aren't mad that we took away the high-level spells
  • I did something else with spells that I forgot
  • I would really like to go home
  • Jeff is a smelly doofus

07-17 15:18:40 Revision: 12420

  • HEY, did you know that APPARENTLY, to cast a spell in our game you have to query the player authentication database, query the player database, query the spell database, AND query the player action table?
  • and did you know that if you're a mage, it does all those EVERY TIME you press the attack button?
  • I am laughing and crying right now
  • I don't know how to fix this
  • I'm actually just crying

07-17 17:11:12 Revision: 12421

  • reduced queue size and added ghost entries to buffer queuing more
  • I'm not sure that’s a thing. well, it's a thing now

07-17 23:51:12 Revision: 12422

  • more queues, less syncs, god I don't even know
  • come make games, they said. lots of fun, they said
  • I have two degrees in computer science and am imagining the utter shame on my professor's face right now
  • drifting, I'm just drifting through infinite black space
  • I just wanted to make something fun that people would enjoy… did I ruin kids' childhoods? like, is this going to be a terrible memory that haunts them for the rest of their lives?
  • it appears that I am out of whisky
  • not sure what this commit is

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